Now Playing: A Perfect Getaway

First of all, I was coerced into watching A Perfect Getaway. I do not like to watch scary movies and then walk home and sleep alone. I was assured that this was a "suspense thriller" - not a horror movie at all. Apparently, it can only be a horror movie if it monsters. This is a lie - some of the best horror movies have no monsters at all (e.g. Halloween, Saw, Texas Chainsaw Massacre). Anyway, I went, taking my lowered expectations with me.

As with any suspense thriller, there are twists and turns. So, spoilers below. You have been warned.

I like a good twist in a movie. That's why I'm a big pre-Happening Shayamalan and Hitchcock fan. If it keeps me guessing, I'm happy. I also like movies that break down the fourth wall and speak to the audience, directly or through characters. Finally, I love me some Timothy Olyphant (when Gina describes him as the "devastatingly handsome man outside" I couldn’t' help but agree. So, knowing all this, APG should have been a fantastic movie.

But alas.

Here's the thing - the twist is actually quite innovative. I've seen a few suspense-thrillers in my time and I've never watched a movie where the bad guys are not only the main focal points (and therefore, we get everything from their point-of-view), they also don’t reveal themselves as the bad guys until the last quarter or so of the movie. Had Twohy a few better editors (or perhaps this is the screenplay writers' fault*), the scenes could have been much better spliced to hide Cliff and Cydney's true personalities. I mean, remember The Sixth Sense? I don't know about you, but I felt compelled to watch a second time in order to confirm that Bruce Willis really doesn't talk to anyone but the kid. That was some masterful editing. In APG, we see C&C have two conversations to which only we, the audience, are privy and both are all about whether the other coupld they're with are the killers. W. T. F. This really makes me mad. I like a good red snapper*, but outright lying isn't playing fair at all.

Also, Milla Jovovich always seems to pull the funniest faces when she's asked to be all serious. She was very beleiveable at the beginning and then she just degenerates into one big slavering sneer. Still, Timothy Olyphant is the prettiest badass onscreen right now. I say rent it on a bored weekend. 2.5 out of 5 stars.