Sunday, March 31, 2013

christianity (in a nutshell)

From: Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
By: Christopher Moore

Joshua's ministry was three years of preaching, sometimes three times a day, and although there were some high and low points, I could never remember the sermons word for word, but here's the gist of almost every sermon I ever heard Joshua give.
You should be nice to people, even creeps.

And if you:
a) believed that Joshua was the Son of God (and)
b) he had come to save you from sin (and)
c) acknowledged the Holy Spirit within you (became as a little child, he would say) (and)
d) didn't blaspheme the Holy Ghost (see c)

then you would:
e) live forever
f) someplace nice
g) probably heavan

However, if you:
h) sinned (and/or)
i) were a hypocrite (and/or)
j) valued things over people (and)
k) didn't do a, b, c, and d,

then you were:
l) fucked.

[“This story is not and never was meant to challenge anyone's faith; however, if one's faith can be shaken by stories in a humorous novel, one may have a bit more praying to do.”]

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Now Playing: Olympus Has Fallen

So, looking to kill some time, Jadek and I perused the offerings at the movieplex by his place and we stumbled across Olympus Has Fallen. Neither of us had even heard of it, despite an all-star cast of Morgan Freeman, Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart, Angela Bassett, Ashley Judd, Dylan McDermott, and Melissa Leo. Honestly, you don’t get casts like this unless you’re in a British Christmas movie. or, you know, Batman.  So, what the heck, we went in. We even used our points and watched it for free.

This review will be short. The movie was okay, a perfectly good way to pass a random Saturday afternoon. It was action-packed, suspenseful and even a little funny. It had twists and surprises.  People live, people die (spoiler!).  When it’s on Netflix, you should catch it. 3 out of 5 stars.

Monday, March 11, 2013


It is no secret that, every year, I hit a SAD zone. It coincides, usually, with February. This year, I ran late. I’m not sure what the trigger is – it may be a lack of sunlight or fresh air; it may be delayed post-Christmas denouement; It may be a residual sorrow for the loss of my single-child status. (Love you, LilBro!)

Regardless. It hits like a tonne of bricks. I find myself doing things I hardly ever do:

- (re)reading dozens of favourites, hardly ever leaving bed;
- listlessly wandering through the machinations of work (it’s amazing how unproductive I can be and yet go entirely unnoticed);
- avoiding chores (small things, like laundry and dishes)
- desperately seeking company (and becoming the one thing I really hate being: needy)
- watching romances (damn you, Netflix!)

I usually just need one good sunny spring day with a warm breeze that allows me to open my windows to snap out of it. The kind of day that’s spent doing laundry and cleaning the bathroom with 90’s music in the background. It usually means fresh sheets, new curtains, and donations piles. My fridge gets stocked with hand-squeezed juice and neat containers of conveniently cut veggies; my counter overflows with cakes and cookies. If I get a whole weekend, it will mean new projects for the rest of year – lists of birthday cards to make and dresses to retrofit and organisational designs for closets. I won’t touch my computer except to boot winamp. It’s high-energy.

That is not today.