Monday, August 23, 2010


So, if you haven’t already heard Justin Bieber slowed down by 800%, then do that or none of this will make any sense. No, seriously. …okay? I hadn't heard it either until this past Saturday when LilBro exposed me to this new way of listening to the Stratford Sensation. Let me just say how much more I prefer it this way. So, he also has a theory. We call it the Bieber Corollary. No it's not clever, but it works.

Bieber Corollary: using a basic application of Einstein's Theory of Relativity, LilBro hypothesises that the reason JB is so popular with the ten-year-old set is because time, for them, is moving at a much slower rate than for adults. Given that this slowed down version of U smile is so appealing to a 30-year-old ears, he states what I'm hearing (800% slower) is what tweens hear, at its normal rate. A ten-year-old only has five years of cognitive memory, therefore every second (or minute) for them is like a minute (or hour) for us. The math ratios are off, but the fundamentals are the same. That’s why Sigur Ros does nothing for them and we (the focus group) think they’re awesome.

…if any of this holds true, this just may explain why Miley Cyrus is so amazing to the pre-teen crowd and completely horrific to the rest of the world. What they're hearing is a seriously slowed down version of the cacophony we hear! So, what they hear is something completely different from what we hear. Which may or may not be stating the obvious.

Also: everyone should be so lucky as to have a younger brother who invites them to parties and buys yummy-flavoured drink mixes and saves a bottle of Gatorade for the next day.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Now Playing: Scott Pilgrim vs the World

I was really surprised to see that Scott Pilgrim vs. The World didn't even crack the top three on its opening weekend. I had heard so much hype about it. Of course, I guess it helps that I live where I do, so I may be benefiting from a geographical hype. Anyway - I went to see it because I'd read (and liked) the graphic novels.

Poor Michael Cera - will he ever play anything but a slightly befuddled young man who hapless and loveable despite flouting social norms? So, he's good, but when is he not? There a tonnes of recognisable people in the movie too, who I'm not going to list because I'm too lazy to link to their IMDB page. Just check out the cast listing. And the style is just perfect for the geek-chic culture that is now one of the new cool kid cliques, from script to music to super-pixellated animation. (who'd have thunk it?) There may be some complaints about the number of exes poor Scott has to battle (seven!) and while I do agree that some of them are pretty lame in movie-form (the twins? boo.), I didn't think they were too over-the-top, relatively.

The real star of the movie, though, is a little city named Toronto. It was so nice to watch a movie that unabashedly Canadian and see the city without its many disguises (Tdot has probably stood in for every major city at some point, I'm sure). From Casa Loma to the red velvet TTC buses, from Lee's Palace to the Drake Hotel. I mean, I've walked up those stairs! And though it was filmed all summer and they had to fake the snow (why didn't they just film in the winter and save themselves the hassle), the movie perfectly captures the slushy goodness that is Toronto in winter.

This is a cult movie wiating to happen. 4 out of 5 stars.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


In a fashion that typifies the behaviour discussed in this blog post, I am NOT writing one myself.  But this is SO FUNNY, you just HAVE to read it.  Seriously.    I mean, who hasn't eaten nachos for dinner?

Now Playing: The Expendables

The key to enjoying The Expendables is to watch it with a theatre full of guys.  Honestly, they totally sell it.  Also, leave your expectations at the door because you're only setting yourself up.  Finally, star-watch.  I found so many non-postered celebs in there (who would normally at least get third billing), it was kinda crazy.

The plot is what you'd expect, so I won't waste your time rehashing it.   The action is hella fun.  And Terry Crews' guns?  Gold.

Favourite exchange:

SA: how many guys with you?
SS: only your mutha
*beat, beat, choke, choke*
SA: last chance!  who sent you?
SS: your hairdresser.

Hee!  3.5 out of 5 stars.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

barefoot 'tessa

So, the first in a series of Sunday Adventures had me out at The Ranch in Oakville for a horse-ride.  That's right, the city girl went a little country for this one.  When we were first choosing our adventures, I told Nish and AnCe that I could totally pass on the horses as that would only lead to comedy; they concurred, and so of course that meant we were going.  Thanks ladies.

Anyway, back at the ranch.  Most of our group filtered in, everyone getting to know each other a little.  For my introduction I stated the facts "I've never been on a horse so stay tuned for hilarity" - perhaps I write my future?  After seeing Nish straddle Pippin I was bolstered.  Her horse looked like it was ready for a nap.  I hoped for much the same.

My horse's name was Contessa, affectionately nicknamed Tessa.  I knew right away I was waaay in it because, as we waited for everyone to saddle up, she was getting antsy: walking toward the trail when I hadn't given her the go yet, fighting the reins when I wanted her to stop eating grass and generally being an impatient horse.  When it was time to get in line, she was behind Shae and Tessa didn't like that one bit.  She kept nudging Shae's flank, trying to get in front of her on the narrow path; every time Shae wandered into the grass, so did Tessa.  And when I tried to rein her in before she got to the grass she didn't like that one bit.  Before we were even fifteen minutes in, she had already bucked my reins and almost threw me off sideways.  Nish, behind me on Pippin, came face-to-face with Tessa more than once.  At some point, Shae completely went off-trail into the grass and Tessa was all "finally!" and she trotted forward to get front.  Because Shae's rider had very little control over her horse, I think Tessa was taking bad notes; the minute we got behind Nova, she behaved very well (save for that one brush with the tree).  But Shae bit her way back in front and we were back to shenanigans.  Finally, not five minutes from the end, Shae decided to eat flowers and when I clicked Tessa to not follow, she got really upset, turned a full 360 degrees and I went totally off-saddle, feet out of stirrups, hanging on to the pommel for dear life.  I yelled at her a little, drew her reins in and she got back under control.  That was a very long hour.

Lesson?  I do not belong on horses.

AnCe and Nish said it was likely my fault, that Contessa sensed my nerves and tried to dominate me.  I totally agree.  Have you seen how big a horse is?  I can't dominate a puppy, forget a horse!  It just figures that of all the horses in the stable, I had to get the primadonna of the bunch.  What's that saying about owners and pets again?  ...Yeah.  Yeah.

Monday, August 02, 2010


Ahh, the long weekend... what should I do: cottage? take a train to Montreal?  attend a music festival?  Nah.  This weekend, I staycationed.

I started the weekend off right, with a Book Club meeting and then an impromptu re-watching of Inception (which, may I say, is just as good the second time around).  That was fun!

Saturday, I had a shopping date.  I had all these "birthday" coupons that were expiring at the end of month.  I went to Yves Rocher where I bought over $400 worth of stuff but only paid $140 (yes!).  Picked up my yearly allotment White Musk.  Capitulated to a certain sale.  Had a yummy lunch at earl's.  Came home and hung up my last two pieces of art, played some Starccraft campaign, took a short nap, and then played some multiplayer.

Sunday dawned and I decided to treat myself to a Spa Day using all my new purchases.  So I put on Batman Begins and gave myself a long, luxurious foot soak, facial and hair soak in coconut oil.  Then I turned on my favourite white noise, lit some candles, turned off all the lights, drew all the curtains and had the longest bubble bath known to man (followed by a full body scrub).  Straightened my newly moisturised hair.  Spent the next 4 hours in my Chinese silk robe, playing WoW.  When I I got the call for dinner, I was sufficiently rested and pampered to say "okay!" and  off we went for Prince Sushi.  (mmmm....).  Came back and logged on for some mulitplayer Starcraft action.  Rolled into my newly changed bed around 3am. 

Monday: what to do?  Impromptu lunch plans with DK and then a re-watching of The Wire before getting ready for work tomorrow.  I feel like I've had a week off!  Loverly.