Sunday, August 15, 2010

barefoot 'tessa

So, the first in a series of Sunday Adventures had me out at The Ranch in Oakville for a horse-ride.  That's right, the city girl went a little country for this one.  When we were first choosing our adventures, I told Nish and AnCe that I could totally pass on the horses as that would only lead to comedy; they concurred, and so of course that meant we were going.  Thanks ladies.

Anyway, back at the ranch.  Most of our group filtered in, everyone getting to know each other a little.  For my introduction I stated the facts "I've never been on a horse so stay tuned for hilarity" - perhaps I write my future?  After seeing Nish straddle Pippin I was bolstered.  Her horse looked like it was ready for a nap.  I hoped for much the same.

My horse's name was Contessa, affectionately nicknamed Tessa.  I knew right away I was waaay in it because, as we waited for everyone to saddle up, she was getting antsy: walking toward the trail when I hadn't given her the go yet, fighting the reins when I wanted her to stop eating grass and generally being an impatient horse.  When it was time to get in line, she was behind Shae and Tessa didn't like that one bit.  She kept nudging Shae's flank, trying to get in front of her on the narrow path; every time Shae wandered into the grass, so did Tessa.  And when I tried to rein her in before she got to the grass she didn't like that one bit.  Before we were even fifteen minutes in, she had already bucked my reins and almost threw me off sideways.  Nish, behind me on Pippin, came face-to-face with Tessa more than once.  At some point, Shae completely went off-trail into the grass and Tessa was all "finally!" and she trotted forward to get front.  Because Shae's rider had very little control over her horse, I think Tessa was taking bad notes; the minute we got behind Nova, she behaved very well (save for that one brush with the tree).  But Shae bit her way back in front and we were back to shenanigans.  Finally, not five minutes from the end, Shae decided to eat flowers and when I clicked Tessa to not follow, she got really upset, turned a full 360 degrees and I went totally off-saddle, feet out of stirrups, hanging on to the pommel for dear life.  I yelled at her a little, drew her reins in and she got back under control.  That was a very long hour.

Lesson?  I do not belong on horses.

AnCe and Nish said it was likely my fault, that Contessa sensed my nerves and tried to dominate me.  I totally agree.  Have you seen how big a horse is?  I can't dominate a puppy, forget a horse!  It just figures that of all the horses in the stable, I had to get the primadonna of the bunch.  What's that saying about owners and pets again?  ...Yeah.  Yeah.

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