boom goes the dynamite

Save me from menopause!

Last night, like a dutiful daughter, I went to the 'rentals to continue the 29-year tradition of decorating on the first Saturday in December (and mark the twentieth anniversary of eating pizza while doing so). I showed up at 1930, arriving directly after the staff Children's party, with a change of clothes. I noticed that everything was basically done, with only a few tree trims and some rejigging of the North Pole (apparently, Dad did not remember the "story" and the elves were all just placed willy nilly!). So I did what I could to finish it off and at around 2145, the three of us sat down for pizza; LilBro had long fled the building. I have no idea how we got to this place in the conversation, but we were discussing trees when Mom says: "if it were up to me, I wouldn't even put up a tree!"
I say: "You mean, you wouldn't decorate for Christmas?"
She says: " I didn't say I wouldn't decorate; I said I wouldn't put up a tree."
I: "Why not? what's wrong with a tree?"
She: "A tree is for children. Everyone here is grown up now. There's no need for a tree."
I: "Where would you put the presents? and who just puts up decorations and no tree? I mean, you can put up a tree and no decorations, sure."
She: "oh, you've been to everyone's house? you know that no one ever puts up decorations with no tree?"
I: "No, but I've never seen a house decorated that had no tree. Besides, it's tradition. You might as well say we won't go to Midnight Mass anymore."
She: "Oh, so if we have no tree and presents then we don't go to Church? We can't just celebrate religiously?"
I: "I don't think Jesus would begrudge us a tree on his birthday. besides, it would be weird, to go to Midnight mass and then come home and just go to bed."
She: "So Midnight Mass isn't worth going to without gifts, is that it?"
I: "No, Midnight Mass and opening presents afterwards and calling family until 4am... that's tradition. That's what makes it special.
She: "Church is special on its own. I don't like that you think you go to Church just for the gifts."
I: "I didn't say that. I said that decorating and Midnight Mass and gifts and all that are all part of what makes Christmas special."
She: "Well, Christmas isn't about gifts!"

…What just happened? Christ, I don't care about gifts! I would rather spend the same money and buy myself stuff, but instead we do this whole exchange thing because it's tradition. And tradition is what binds families together. At least, our family. Honestly, I was pretty close to just going back to my own home after that stupid exchange. Why do we do anything, if not for tradition? Why do I go over to decorate a house I don't live in? Or bake cakes when I'm diabetic? If it wasn't for my Dad who just whispered, "Don't worry, your mom is a little cranky these days. Don't take it personally." I would have spent the night in the comfort of my own bed, TYVM.

God. Conversation with my mother has become like negotiating a minefield. Save me.

harbinger

One day, a hundred or so years from now, someone will write a paper about the absurd statistics and anomalies that, with a century of hindsight, clearly paints a picture of what went wrong. Like how crime rates can be predicted by birth rates twenty years previous. On that day, in the twenty-second century, a studious little environmental ethics major (yes, they will have many of these, if we keep on our current course) will read an obscure report that says " home policy premiums have risen 5 to 20 per cent and that in 2009 almost 41 percent of the claims reported are water-related and that the cost of the average water-related claim is now almost $12,000 – up 25 per cent since 2007. Although not all claims made sought compensation, applying the $12,000 average claim cost to the 113 August 4th flooding claims results in a total cost of $1,356,000." They will read this and think "why didn't anyone see it? A rise in flood claims has got to mean a rise (even if minute) in water levels. Shouldn't they have thought of this as a harbinger of the much worse things to come? Shouldn't they have recognised this as a tipping point?" In a passionate outburst during her seminar, this student will express much of these observations and her colleagues will all shake their heads. Clearly, our ancestors were idiots, they'll think. And as they get ready to head to the pub to discuss ancient Marx theory and the Bush dictatorship, they'll don their masks as much for the oxygen as for the delightful side effect of covering the rank odour of sewage and algae that permeates the campus. After all, that's what happens when everything is at the new sea-level and old infrastructure now floats on top of stagnant sewage water. Yes, poppets, humans really are that dumb.

Now Playing: Ninja Assassin

I'm not sure what I expected from Ninja Assassin before I walked in. I knew the Wachowskis were involved, so I guess I expected some cool action (check). I had heard that the lead actor was all the rage in Korea, so I certainly expected some hotness (omg, check). With such a cheesy title, I definitely expected lots of blood (check check check). So, what do I rate a movie that meets (but does not exceed) my expectations? Hmm - a tough call this. It was a fun movie, for sure. The fight scenes were simply superb. AND a cameo by the keymaker didn't hurt. I guess it just wasn't revolutionary enough or philosophically mind-blowing enough or edge-of-your-seat enough to deserve any higher than a 3.5 out of 5 stars.

DVD: Battlestar Galactica

Okay, so not only am I a bad blogtress for not posting on here at least once a week (remember when I wanted to post once a day? ahh, the ambitions of youth…), I'm also way behind in things I wanted to share with you, poppets! I have no excuses, other than to say my new job actually makes me earn my paycheque and slacking is not something that comes easily here.

Anyway, on to the point of the post: Battlestar Galactica. All right, so I was late to the party. In fact, the party was well over before I even arrived. I watched all four seasons of BSG this fall, in rapid order, and I've got to say… it was frakkin' fantastic. Seriously. Maybe even better than - dare I say it? - ST:TNG! *gasp* Having recently rewatched all seven seasons of TNG, I think I may have to say that, yes, BSG is a far better show - in terms of acting, production values, plots, all of it. It never becomes kitsch, there are no musical numbers and any humour is like the kind we find in life - incidental. I have no idea why BSG failed the first time around, but I can see why it was such a success this time.

If you're scared off by the sci-fi aspects, don't be. Again, any sci-fi is incidental. This is high drama, political intrigue, covert espionage… this is an epic mystery that just happens to be set in space. If you're not hooked after watching the three-hour opening mini-series … well, I can't imagine such a scenario, so I can't devise a consequence. BSG is full of characters that you love, you hate, you despise… mostly, though, it's full of characters that grow and I can't think of a better compliment than that. It also has a depth of characters from which to draw, allowing secondary personnel to move to the forefront and become integral to the tapestry of the show and then fade away again - all without feeling forced or contrived. The plot itself was tight: I didn't find a single shark-jumping or island-moving moment (I'm looking at you, Lost); it was neat, clean and well-played.

Finally, the acting. Wow. Everyone - and I mean everyone - really checked in when they signed on for this show. Standouts for me were Tricia Helfer (6), James Callis (Baltar) and the dynamic duo of Mary MacDonnell (Roslin) and James Edward Olmos (Adama) - these guys really stretched themselves. I think one of my favourite line uttered on a TV screen has to be: "No. Not now. Not ever. Do you hear me? I will use every cannon, every bomb, every bullet, every weapon I have down to my own eye teeth to end you! I swear it! I'm coming for all of you!" … damn! I won't tell you who says it, but I think you'll guess who's capable before season one is done. Seriously - the acting was just brilliant.

Go watch it. I think it's some of the best TV ever made.

Now Playing: 2012

You see, poppets, somewhere in the cold caverns known as my heart, there is a warm, mushy spot reserved for crazy, popcorn-munching, landmark-decimating movies. Also, somewhere in there, is a tiny crevice kept aside for John Cusack (he shares it with his sister, whom I adored in a certain muppet movie). Never have these two phenomena had cause to overlap... until today. I give to you: 2012.

First of all, and let me clear about this, this movie is the disaster to end all disaster movies. You want earthquakes? It has earthquakes. You want volcanoes? Ditto. Tsunamis? check. In fact, it had just about every natural disaster that would make for scary moments in there, except tornadoes (but there is a joke about it!). And that's not all. I mean, what disaster movie would be complete without the obligatory obliteration of beloved man-made structures... so, as a gift to you, 2012 includes the destruction of the White House, the Vatican and Las Vegas. Finally, what disaster movie would be complete without a few noble sacrifices, and 2012 does not fail us here: it comes complete with the US President staying behind to join his late wife, the dalai lama ringing the last two gongs and, of course, a brilliant third world scientist who is sacrificed by a greedy politician. All this, for the low, low price of one admission.

So, really, what was wrong with 2012? Well, for me, it all comes back to the screw upon which this movie turns: an ancient Mayan prediction about planetary alignment and catastrophe. ...really? I kind of wish they would have made a joke about that instead and had this all happen in 2013 or something. Alack. So, from the get-go, I was sceptical. Then there's John-Cusack-as-action-movie hero... in a word? No. Just... no. Finally, there's the absolutely unbelivability of the Chinese actually helping us out in a time of crisis. I mean, that stretches anyone's suspension of disbelief to a snapping point. So, while the action was unrelenting and the CGI simply fantastic, 2012 never rose, in my humble opinion, to anything higher than a case study in blockbuster entertainment.

I think this movie would have done much better in the lazy, hazy days of August, when our brains are soft and all we want to do is chill in an air-conditioned movie theatre. I also think we could have used some Will Smith. 2.5 out of 5 stars.

the end approacheth

I happened to be reminded of my new year's resolutions this past week and am a bit disappointed in myself. Sure, I went more green and, with the help of a new work wardrobe, have definitely upped the glam factor. Less needy and needed? Check, with two nights a week dedicated to having my cell set to vibrate. Spend less money? Weelll… not so much. Though there have been responsible purchases (e.g., new work wardrobe) and preapproved expenditures (NFLD, NYC, etc), there have also been an exorbitant amounts spent on outside food. The biggest disappointment this year, however, has been my writing.. or lack thereof. Blog posts dwindled, fiction writing was nonexistent and the familial memoirs I had thought to get started on never emerged. I know, I've been busy. Still, I feel like I need to make more time to do this. Sometimes I can feel my writing skills leaking out of me and I'm afraid - deathly afraid - that I'll never get them back.

I'm thinking I will try and roll all three of these things together, maybe have memoir blogs and fiction posts. To do so would mean to wear my heart on my cybersleeve… and I think I may be too chicken shit to do that. We shall see if a backbone emerges in the next few months.

On a completely unrelated note: I watched Drag Me to Hell recently. In a word? Don't.

sunny days

All I need to take the edge off a rough week is a lime-green trench coat, Dior shades, Muse in my ears and a sunny walk to work. I miss this commute.

So, what's a rough week? #3 threatens to go above my head for a vacation approval when all I said was that it would be tight. #5 can't understand that her hours being cut isn't a personal punishment but a fact of the times. #6 - my favourite - is being sent back to her home position at the end of the year due to budget glitches. #4 is a two-faced keener who only looks like he's doing a lot of work, but is really as lazy as they come. and #2? Well, she's eighteen months away from retirement, so she is just refusing to keep up with the system as she doesn't see the point. sigh.

Those twelve minutes of walking with a purpose through construction zones and past fenced-in-parks are the best twelve minutes of my entire week.