The weekend gave me a teasing taste of what life could be like. After dropping my mother off at the airport on (early) Saturday morning, I had the house all to myself for 3 full days. It was glorious. Simply glorious. I played the music as loud as I liked, Rock Band happened well past anyone's bedtime, the TV was all mine and I could channel flip to my heart's content (I watched Dancing with the Stars, How to Look Good Naked and Monday Night Raw all at once). Dishes were done at my convenience and not according to some fascist regime; newspaper got recycled after I was done reading them and not a minute before. The best part? It was quiet when I wanted it to be: music off, TV off, lights off and no need for a box fan to drown out the sounds of people. Bliss, I tell you. I enjoyed it so much, I extended it.
Sometimes, I worry about living o solo mio. I so easily get lonely and I hate doing things by myself (i.e. grocery shopping). I'm really dreading taking out the garbage on a regular basis. But then, I have these brief respites and it only whets my appetite for more. I also worry about my growing obsession with scheduling every minute of my life so that I never have to spend a second more than necessary at home. Having 72 hours with no one around, I realised that it's not that I don't want to be at home ... I just don't want to be home with family. Key difference, that. I don't think a room of my own - my very own - can come soon enough. This way, it won't even matter that plans get cancelled (or forgotten about). Seeking solace in my own company is just not such a scary proposition anymore.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Mercy Among the Children by David Adams Richards
Mercy Among the Children (MAtC) won the 2000 Giller Award and yes, it's taken me this long to get to it. Boy, was it worth the wait. Clocking in at 417 pages, this is not a light read with respect to either length or gravity. It spans three generations of Hendersons, an impoverished rural family in Nova Scotia where life is hard and unfair and where people, both with malicious and benign intent, seem bent to destroy that which they cannot understand. Written from Lyle's point-of-view (the grandson), we learn about how an innocent promise made at a young age will go on to affect the lives of not just the Hendersons, but the entire town.This was a difficult book to read, I'll admit it. The writing is fantastic, the pacing is done very well. By the time I hit the third part ("love"), I was compelled forward by these characters. I rarely stay up late to finish books; even rarer still will I wake up early. Today, I was up at 7am to finish up. No, it wasn't the prosaic brilliance - it was the deep sense of unfairness that permeated the novel. What's so impressive is that, instead of hating these characters that are mean, vicious and utterly selfish - Richards is actually able to elicit pity.
While I do read fiction to escape real life, I don't like it when it's so far removed from it that it loses all credibility (this, above any other reason, is probably why I don't read SciFi or Fantasy).
No one would ever accuse MAtC of being unreal - it's so real, it hurts. I want these people to rise above it all, I want the "bad guys" to get theirs, I want the snobs to be put in their places... but that isn't how it works is it? There are bright spots of redemption, but for the most part MAtC is what life is: bittersweet. I recommend it highly.
Monday, March 24, 2008
what every independent woman needs: a subjective list
There are some things that I consider staples in an independent woman’s life, things that will help her out of scrapes, keep her self-reliant, and (most importantly) make her feel good about herself.
little black dress: indispensable! Perfect for parties of all occasions, the LBD should be one that makes you feel sophisticated and comfortable. It should inspire in you a confidence and charm that will help you sparkle. The perfect LBD will fit well and stay black.
toolbox: every woman should have a well-stocked toolbox, with a hammer, a set of screwdrivers, cordless drill, tape measure and all the accoutrements to go with it. There should be no reason to call your dad/brother/boyfriend/neighbour whenever you need to hang a picture, put up a light fixture or install hardwood floors. Unless these people are professionals, you are just as capable of doing these tasks ... and probably with a better sense of how you want the end product to look than they could bring to the table.
driver’s license: I cannot emphasise the amount of freedom this little piece of plastic provides. Sure, it’s great when your date picks you up or when a friend offers a ride; however, simply knowing that, if all else fails you can get yourself there is such de-stressor. Not having to rely on other people's schedules or favours is liberating. Once you have one of these, you don’t have to get a car (although, extremely helpful); if you do get a car though, you should probably learn to pump your gas, change a flat tire and, for everything else, get a CAA membership.
great bra: every woman has that one fabulous bra that’s sexy, supportive and fits like a dream. Like men, once you’ve found one that does these things, hang on ladies. These bras are irreplaceable. I have a friend who, after finding one, actually went out and bought five extras for when it falls apart. If you ever find one: spend the money and buy it. You won’t regret it.
a room one's own: there are few things I will credit Woolf with; this is one of them. She understood the importance of a space to call one’s own. It may be a room, it may be a mansion – but it has to be your own. It should be somewhere that allows you to dream, to use your imagination, to self-actualise. A place where your spirit feels free and safe.
...I’m working on these things myself. More than halfway there. What I need to stop doing is seeking approval for things from people who may or may not have my best interests or emotional well-being at heart. Once acquired, I’ll let you know how independent I really feel.
little black dress: indispensable! Perfect for parties of all occasions, the LBD should be one that makes you feel sophisticated and comfortable. It should inspire in you a confidence and charm that will help you sparkle. The perfect LBD will fit well and stay black.
toolbox: every woman should have a well-stocked toolbox, with a hammer, a set of screwdrivers, cordless drill, tape measure and all the accoutrements to go with it. There should be no reason to call your dad/brother/boyfriend/neighbour whenever you need to hang a picture, put up a light fixture or install hardwood floors. Unless these people are professionals, you are just as capable of doing these tasks ... and probably with a better sense of how you want the end product to look than they could bring to the table.
driver’s license: I cannot emphasise the amount of freedom this little piece of plastic provides. Sure, it’s great when your date picks you up or when a friend offers a ride; however, simply knowing that, if all else fails you can get yourself there is such de-stressor. Not having to rely on other people's schedules or favours is liberating. Once you have one of these, you don’t have to get a car (although, extremely helpful); if you do get a car though, you should probably learn to pump your gas, change a flat tire and, for everything else, get a CAA membership.
great bra: every woman has that one fabulous bra that’s sexy, supportive and fits like a dream. Like men, once you’ve found one that does these things, hang on ladies. These bras are irreplaceable. I have a friend who, after finding one, actually went out and bought five extras for when it falls apart. If you ever find one: spend the money and buy it. You won’t regret it.
a room one's own: there are few things I will credit Woolf with; this is one of them. She understood the importance of a space to call one’s own. It may be a room, it may be a mansion – but it has to be your own. It should be somewhere that allows you to dream, to use your imagination, to self-actualise. A place where your spirit feels free and safe.
...I’m working on these things myself. More than halfway there. What I need to stop doing is seeking approval for things from people who may or may not have my best interests or emotional well-being at heart. Once acquired, I’ll let you know how independent I really feel.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Happy Bunny Day
The History of Easter Bunnies
Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
I found Joshua sitting in a far corner of the courtyard playing with some children. One little girl had brought her pet rabbit to the wedding and Joshua was holding it in his lap, petting its ears.
"Biff, come feel how soft this bunny is."
"Joshua, John has been arrested."
Josh slowly handed the bunny back to the little girl and stood.
[...water turned into wine...]
Just then Joshua stumbled through the gate and crashed into us. We were able to catch ourselves and him before anyone fell. The Messiah was holding the little girl's pet bunny, hugging it to his cheek with the big back feet swinging free. He was gloriously drunk. "Know what?" Josh said. "I love bunnies. They toil not, neither do they bark. Henceforth and from now on, I decree that whenever something bad happens to me, there shall be bunnies around. So it shall be written. Go ahead Biff, write it down." He waved to me under the bunny, then turned and started back through the gate. "Where's the friggin' wine? I got a dry bunny over here!"
"See," I said to Maggie, "you don't want to miss out on that. Bunnies!"
Saturday, March 22, 2008
random things I learned while cleaning out the pamphlet drawers at work:
"YES...You have more rights" (Ontario Ministry of Community and Social Services)
You have the right to have clothes that are warm in the winter and cool in the summer. Clothes that are right for your age. You have the right to recreation. Games and sports are great for your mind and your body.
"What is Smog?" (City of Mississauga)
Smog is visible as a brownish-yellow haze in the air on hot, sunny days. Smog forms when ground level ozone and fine airborne particles mix with heat and sunlight. Fine particles come from factories, dust from construction sites and roads as well as gasoline and diesel vehicle exhaust. Ground level ozone forms when Nitrogen Oxides (NOx) and volatile organic compounds (VOCs) emissions from industries, vehicles and oil-based paints and solvents, mix together with heat and sunlight. Ground level ozone is harmful to plants, animals and humans.
"Depression: What Can Friends and Family Do?" (Canadian Mental Health Association)
It can be difficult to be with and to help someone who is seriously depressed. Some people who are depressed keep to themselves, while others may not want to be alone. They may react strongly to the things you say or do. It is important that you let them know that it is okay to talk about their feelings and thoughts. Listen and support rather than trying to contradict them or talk them out of it. Let them know you care. Ask them how you can help, and offer to contact their family doctor or a mental health professional. Find out about local self-help groups and attend a meeting with them. Try to be patient and non-judgmental. Most of all, don't do it alone - get other people to provide help and support too.
"What are the signs and symptoms of cystic fibrosis?" (Canadian Cystic Fibrosis Foundation)
Since it is a disorder which affect several bodily systems, cystic fibrosis is associated with a variety of symptom, which can include:
- constant cough which expel thick mucus
- excessive appetite, combined with weight loss
- bowel disturbances
- skin which tastes usually salty
- repeated or prolonged bouts of pneumonia
CF was first described as a disease in the late 1930s. At that time, it was usually recognised only after a child had died, often as a result if malnutrition or pneumonia. Medical awareness of CF has increased tremendously over the years. Although CF can still be confused with other children's diseases (asthma, chronic bronchitis, pneumonia, and celiac disease), family physicians today routinely consider the possibility of CF in an individual with two or more of the symptoms noted above.
"Kinderprint: Child Identification Program" (Canada Life)
[includes inked plastic strips for fingerprint taking, ten little squares for tiny fingerprints, a space for a recent photo ("updated annually") and other pertinent info (i.e. name, race, weight, blood type] Canada Life has been providing financial stability and sound advice to policyholders since 1847. It is a commitment rooted in tradition and backed by the highest possible rating from Standard & Poor's, Duff & Phelps and The A.M. Best Company.
...anyone else find it creepy that a Life Insurance provider is in charge of this? As in, they only want you to find your kid so they don't have to pay out the insurance you'll (presumably) bought from them.
You have the right to have clothes that are warm in the winter and cool in the summer. Clothes that are right for your age. You have the right to recreation. Games and sports are great for your mind and your body.
"What is Smog?" (City of Mississauga)
Smog is visible as a brownish-yellow haze in the air on hot, sunny days. Smog forms when ground level ozone and fine airborne particles mix with heat and sunlight. Fine particles come from factories, dust from construction sites and roads as well as gasoline and diesel vehicle exhaust. Ground level ozone forms when Nitrogen Oxides (NOx) and volatile organic compounds (VOCs) emissions from industries, vehicles and oil-based paints and solvents, mix together with heat and sunlight. Ground level ozone is harmful to plants, animals and humans.
"Depression: What Can Friends and Family Do?" (Canadian Mental Health Association)
It can be difficult to be with and to help someone who is seriously depressed. Some people who are depressed keep to themselves, while others may not want to be alone. They may react strongly to the things you say or do. It is important that you let them know that it is okay to talk about their feelings and thoughts. Listen and support rather than trying to contradict them or talk them out of it. Let them know you care. Ask them how you can help, and offer to contact their family doctor or a mental health professional. Find out about local self-help groups and attend a meeting with them. Try to be patient and non-judgmental. Most of all, don't do it alone - get other people to provide help and support too.
"What are the signs and symptoms of cystic fibrosis?" (Canadian Cystic Fibrosis Foundation)
Since it is a disorder which affect several bodily systems, cystic fibrosis is associated with a variety of symptom, which can include:
- constant cough which expel thick mucus
- excessive appetite, combined with weight loss
- bowel disturbances
- skin which tastes usually salty
- repeated or prolonged bouts of pneumonia
CF was first described as a disease in the late 1930s. At that time, it was usually recognised only after a child had died, often as a result if malnutrition or pneumonia. Medical awareness of CF has increased tremendously over the years. Although CF can still be confused with other children's diseases (asthma, chronic bronchitis, pneumonia, and celiac disease), family physicians today routinely consider the possibility of CF in an individual with two or more of the symptoms noted above.
"Kinderprint: Child Identification Program" (Canada Life)
[includes inked plastic strips for fingerprint taking, ten little squares for tiny fingerprints, a space for a recent photo ("updated annually") and other pertinent info (i.e. name, race, weight, blood type] Canada Life has been providing financial stability and sound advice to policyholders since 1847. It is a commitment rooted in tradition and backed by the highest possible rating from Standard & Poor's, Duff & Phelps and The A.M. Best Company.
...anyone else find it creepy that a Life Insurance provider is in charge of this? As in, they only want you to find your kid so they don't have to pay out the insurance you'll (presumably) bought from them.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
the playlist
Sometimes, the beauty of a varied and random playlist makes itself known.
"It makes sense that it should happen this way /that the sky should break and the earth should shake / as if to say: sure it all matters, but in such an unimportant way / as if to say: fly away"
"All I'm asking, is for a little respect."
"Just turn around now; you're not welcome anymore. ...did you think I'd crumble?"
"I am colourblind: coffee black and egg white. Pull me out from inside. / I am ready, I am ready, I am ready I am...taffy-stuck and tongue-tied. / Stutter, shook and uptight. Pull me out from inside. / I am ready, I am ready, I am ready I am...fine."
"Words, frozen, will thaw when I am wasted, I am better shut up"
"All I know: I won't go without her" [no link, band too obscure (Market) singing its one semi-famous song (Shield)]
"Too many voices: which one's right, which one's wrong. / ...I am contemplating matters /All this cling and clatter / In my head, and what you said /Is ringing, ringing faster /And it's all good if you would / Stop the world from making sense / And if I could just realize / It doesn't really matter."
and now... for an entire album:
"When the pawn hits the conflicts he thinks like a king / What he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight / And he'll win the whole thing 'fore he enters the ring / There's no body to batter when your mind is your might / So when you go solo, you hold your own hand / And remember that depth is the greatest of heights / And if you know where you stand, then you know where to land / And if you fall it won't matter, cuz you'll know that you're right."
"It makes sense that it should happen this way /that the sky should break and the earth should shake / as if to say: sure it all matters, but in such an unimportant way / as if to say: fly away"
"All I'm asking, is for a little respect."
"Just turn around now; you're not welcome anymore. ...did you think I'd crumble?"
"I am colourblind: coffee black and egg white. Pull me out from inside. / I am ready, I am ready, I am ready I am...taffy-stuck and tongue-tied. / Stutter, shook and uptight. Pull me out from inside. / I am ready, I am ready, I am ready I am...fine."
"Words, frozen, will thaw when I am wasted, I am better shut up"
"All I know: I won't go without her" [no link, band too obscure (Market) singing its one semi-famous song (Shield)]
"Too many voices: which one's right, which one's wrong. / ...I am contemplating matters /All this cling and clatter / In my head, and what you said /Is ringing, ringing faster /And it's all good if you would / Stop the world from making sense / And if I could just realize / It doesn't really matter."
and now... for an entire album:
"When the pawn hits the conflicts he thinks like a king / What he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight / And he'll win the whole thing 'fore he enters the ring / There's no body to batter when your mind is your might / So when you go solo, you hold your own hand / And remember that depth is the greatest of heights / And if you know where you stand, then you know where to land / And if you fall it won't matter, cuz you'll know that you're right."
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
viva purple*
Today, I drove into the wilds of Vaughan. It took me a surprisingly short amount of time to get up there (only 25 mins!) and it was a thoroughly easy drive. Why go there, you ask? Well! I know, gentle reader, that you live for the mundane activities that is my life as related in this space, so I will leave you in suspense no longer: ... appliances. That's right. The General Electric warehouse or whatever is up there and that's where I went to meet my shiny new charges. And they are ever so pretty. I won't lie, darlings, I hugged the refrigerator. (Far away from the sales chick, of course, or I would have lost all my consumer powers). They even gave me colour printouts of my six babies, so I can show them to people who insist on showing me their kids' ugly mugs.
"This is my eldest, Natalie..."
"This is my biggest, Fridge. These are the twins, Washer and Dryer. Dishie is pretty quiet - doesn't get out much. Stovie just got his coils removed. And this... this is my smallest, Micro. Isn't she a sweetheart?"
This was the most fun I've had with anything condo-related ever. It was even better than picking my colours, because it didn't have a $5000 price tag. It was just... bliss. *siiiiiigh*
* = the title to this post means nothing. As I was turning onto Keele, I saw a Vaughan Transit bus that alternately flashed "York University" and "viva purple" ... i have no idea to what that second part alludes, but I thought you may enjoy it as much as I did.
"This is my eldest, Natalie..."
"This is my biggest, Fridge. These are the twins, Washer and Dryer. Dishie is pretty quiet - doesn't get out much. Stovie just got his coils removed. And this... this is my smallest, Micro. Isn't she a sweetheart?"
This was the most fun I've had with anything condo-related ever. It was even better than picking my colours, because it didn't have a $5000 price tag. It was just... bliss. *siiiiiigh*
* = the title to this post means nothing. As I was turning onto Keele, I saw a Vaughan Transit bus that alternately flashed "York University" and "viva purple" ... i have no idea to what that second part alludes, but I thought you may enjoy it as much as I did.
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