Wasn't today one of the most gorgeous days ever? For those of us in the GTA, it was the kind of day you wanted to call in sick, sit in a shaded park and read a juicy book . And I would have too, but I had three compelling reasons to actually get myself to work.
1) Today, I completed my third year of being a Librarian. I started in Children's and am now in Sciences - talk about opposite ends of the spectrum. Anyway, I had my appraisal today. Quite frankly, I was a little scared. I haven't been performing nearly as well in Sciences as I should be, but I can't seem to muster up any enthusiasm for the department. Thankfully, my super-involvement in Central projects in general saved me. The highlight? Right there, in black and white, an "exceeds expectations" in publicity and outreach initiatives with a note complimenting my creative and artistic skills - colour me floored. Did I mention I almost failed Grade 7 art?
2) The Boyz n' the 40K. I work every other Friday night (so I never have to work a Monday morning) and usually this leads to me being uber-grumpy. Lately, however, I have discovered a group of guys who play Warhammer 40,000 on Friday nights. They like to play here because we have nice big tables and non-judgmental atmosphere. Also: the only other people who actually stay in the library on a Friday night are the employees and the couples who want to use the study rooms for their practical anatomy labs. Anyway, these guys are great. They make me feel young again and their geekery is so gosh-darned cute. Some sample conversations:
Upon seeing their Warhammer storage cases.
Me: wow - that's awesome. I wish I had a jewellery box like that
John to Mike*: dude, she just compared your arsenal to a jewellery box!
Me: oh, sorry! I mean, I like it! It's like my makeup container at home, so organised--
Boyz: *groan*
Upon inspecting their figurines.
Dave*: ...and that's how you set up.
Me: I see. But I don't understand how these "Orks" have lazer guns - what kind of medieval weaponry is that?
Dave: they're in space; it's not traditional Warhammer.
Me: Orks in space? Didn't the Muppets have a skit called Pork in Space?
Justin*: That was Pigs in Space
Me: Pigs, pork, same thing.
Dave: Orks are not pigs or pork.
Me: Yeah, well, the point is none of them belong in space.
...you'd think they hate me by now. Instead, they offered to play any board game I liked next time we saw each other and we settled on my favourite: Puerto Rico. Let's just say, two rounds of colonists and corn/indigo crops later, the Boyz have dubbed me the Puerto Rican Princess. Next time: Settlers of Catan. Poor saps, they have no idea I'm the Grand Dame of Catan.
* = I have no idea if these are actual names, but they all have generic Canadian names like Mike, Dave, Justin, Jason, John, etc. and I can't keep them straight.
3) WillSmith. He'd offered to pick me up after work, but I said I'd get there on my own. He'd already given me secret directions to the "best cake house in Mississauga" - I didn't have the heart to tell him I'd already been there. It was really cute how he went from scanning the road intently to casually leaning against a wall when he saw me pull into a parking spot. No, he wasn't nervous at all. I know I was and I wasn't even hiding it. I'd already prepared my "It's getting late; I have to go" line. The worst part is when I'm nervous, I talk. A lot. About absolute garbage. To distract myself, I started making a pros and cons list in my head:
Pros: cute; sweet; trying really hard; TALL (love that); not old enough to be my father; makes bad jokes; laughs at my bad jokes; seems to know a lot about random things; kissed my cheek good night without hesitation.
Cons: wears hat to one side, even when we're sitting in a restaurant; young, barely past the half-plus-seven rule; doesn't "get" fiction; has a name I cannot say without thinking of someone else; can't seem to talk about anything for more than four sentences without becoming quiet.
...He has my number: he'll probably call; I'll probably answer. The slippery slope begins. How do I tell a perfectly nice guy with perfectly good potential that I'm just not feelin' it? Am I hopeless? Am I waiting for something that doesn't exist or can never have? Am I sentencing myself to perpetual singlehood? Should I just go with this because it's easy and unoffensive and hope that something grows out of it? I don't know; I wish I was better at this.
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