sleep writing

Some history: I have always been susceptible to what doctors call "night terrors" - this is different from a common nightmare in the sense that, unless treated, NT can actually lead to destructive behaviour and physical harm. It also leads to things like sleepwalking and amnesia. I have been dealing with them for a while and have basically gotten them under control. I usually only have them now when I'm having moments of high anxiety (university was particularly spotty). As a child, I had them all the time, but could never recall actually having them; being a sickly child with heart issues, my parents were understandably worried. One of the ways to deal with NT is to keep a journal near the bed so you write down as much as you can remember (first, one has to train oneself to actually remember the dream, something most people can't do) and then deal with it in the harsh clarity of day. Often, nightmares are precursors to NTs and so if you can figure out the trigger, you can usually avoid the entire episode. Though I have been having far fewer NTs in the past few years, they have been resurfacing of late. In the past few weeks, I've filled my pad with unintelligible scribbles that (except for a few words here and there) I can't decipher. I've decided to turn these lemons in lemonade and post the translatable ones here. Here's what came out last night:

Translation:

4:53 am There are trees, I think, or at least branches, I don't know, something sharp and snappy is hitting my face and scratching my arms as I run blindly through the ... forest? bush? jungle? I don't know. Lions, though - for sure there are lions - in a forest? that doesn't seem right - but I can hear them growling and I can hear my sharp intakes of breath - seems so loud in the forest - definitely a forest - and I'm running hard now, jumping over roots, ducking under branches and I can hear the soft but determined padding of paws steadily trotting behind me. I don't look back - I'm scared to look back - I know he's there - he? - so why bother to even confirm it when I should spend all my energy trying to get out of here - is there a way out? I can't see it or feel it. I think it's there, but I don't know if it's there and am I running toward the exit or just deeper into the forest. I don't know - I'm still running hard, but I can feel him closer behind me now, brushes of fur against my legs, distinct against the trees, hot gusts of breath against my clammy neck - run or stay - run or stay - run to fight another day - stay and make it go away, run or stay - I trip, head first on a stump and then - I'm awake.